I celebrate 5 years of sobriety today. I had a really good meeting this morning. I've knit 31 pairs of socks among countless other projects to keep my hands busy during meetings. Now, whenever I "accidentally" buy expensive fancy sock yarn I can confidently tell myself that it's a LOT cheaper than drinking.
5 years ago I was a mess and I didn't see life ever getting better, I was just trying to get by...and doing it very poorly. I recently reconnected with a friend and found myself saying out loud to her "I didn't ever know that it was possible to be this happy."
Of course, something came up yesterday and it reminds me that I still have a lot of work to do to be better than I was. When I hurt others deeply I also hurt myself. I still hold on to too much anger and resentment in some areas of life. And I'm so tired of hurting and being uncomfortable and anxious. On the other hand the general day-to-day stuff in life has gotten so much easier.
So here's to 5 years sober and making it one. more. day.
A side note on the bandana in the above photos of my very pretty 5 year coin:
This bandana is the first thing I ever recall winning, I was probably about 6. I've mentioned here and there that we showed horses growing up and I don't recall having an affinity for ribbons or trophies but this piece of fabric always reminds me that I was into a nice cotton fabric even at a young age. I'll always be thankful for the grounding nature fabric and the process of making fabric has always had for me. It's a simple thing but I find nice bandanas so useful. Today I'm wearing it as a neckerchief since it's getting chilly at work but not cold enough for a thermal neck gaiter.
To thine own self be true.